Every Myers-Briggs personality type is often attracted to a certain quality or situation that although over-generalised and cliche, can actually be quite relatable.
ENFJ
Who you usually go for: The one who gives you half as much as you give them. The one who you really really really like, but doesn’t necessarily like you as much back. You believe in hard work when it comes to relationships, and you’re determined to prove that you’re faithful and trustworthy. This only works for as long as it takes for you to figure out that the reason the relationship seems to be at a plateau is because: your effort alone cannot keep the ship sailing.
Who you should go for: The one who tries. Someone who acknowledges that passion is important, but understands that effort is what truly keeps people together. Someone who initiates as often as you do, and is willing to share every part of their life with you.
ENFP
Who you usually go for: The mysterious one. Or the risky one. Or the one already in a relationship. Basically, you go for the unavailable one that seems only the slightest bit interested in you, but you know in the back of your mind that it’s never going to happen. But all the more enthralling, because you love the chase anyway and you’re dead set on changing their mind. Whether or not you’ll still be into them once you get them, is another mystery altogether.
Who you should go for: The laid-back one who goes with the flow, but refuses to fall victim to your game. The one who doesn’t wait around until you decide what you want, but shows you what you want instead. Someone who escapes predictability, but still provides you with reassurance.
ENTJ
Who you usually go for: The over-achieving, put-together one. You get turned on by long-term goal setting and planning ahead. And you’re attracted to capability, intelligence and ambition. But most of all, you’re attracted to assertiveness. After all, you’re going to need someone who can keep up with yourself, no?
Who you should go for: The secretly witty one. The humble, yet still confident one whom you overlook and underestimate at first, until they challenge one of your theories with an equally impressive theory of their own. Or better yet, they actually prove you wrong, and leave you with all the holes in your argument that you believed was foolproof. Someone who knocks your ego down a notch, but in a way that only makes you admire them more.
ENTP
Who you usually go for: The innocent one. The nice one whose limits have yet to be tested, and whose ugly side has yet to be revealed. You go for the patient ones, only to see how long you can tap-dance on their last nerve. You just like seeing good things burn, don’t you? (Haha, kidding. Not really.)
Who you should go for: The one who can’t be pushed. The one who is unaffected by your roguish charm, and who shows you who they really are on their own terms. Someone who doesn’t see in black or white, but in shades of grey. Someone who doesn't label people as good or bad, but rather, that we can always be better.
ESFJ
Who you usually go for: The Don/Damsel in Distress type who makes you feel like the Knight in Shining Armour. The one who depends on you and makes you feel needed. You’re a sucker for the line “What would I do without you?” Whether it’s from the one who cries to you regularly over the phone, or the one who literally relies on you as their main source of income. Either way, you’re a crutch, and you have no qualms being one.
Who you should go for: The independent one. The one who does perfectly fine without your little showers of affection, but still appreciates and accepts them anyway because they know it’s your way of saying “I care about you.” Someone who reminds you constantly of your worth to them, even when you feel like you’re not doing anything at all.
ESFP
Who you usually go for: Anyone and everyone that catches your eye. You leave no crevice unexplored. You’re quick to pick up on immediate attraction and interest, and even quicker to act on it. But this also means: you’re quick to drop it once the initial attraction fades. You’re also not a stranger to juggling more than one date at a time.
Who you should go for: The one who waits. The one who can patter out your hastiness and impulsiveness, and stick around long enough for you to actually get to know them properly. Someone who will make you see that stability doesn’t necessarily have to mean boredom, and that you don’t have to compromise on your happiness to be able to commit.
ESTJ
Who you usually go for: The docile one. The one who doesn’t mind having you make all their decisions for them. You prefer your “arguments” to be one-sided and not to be talked back to when you’re clearly right. You go for the submissive one, who you know won’t ever say no.
Who you should go for: The one who says no. The one who supports and reassures you, but keeps you grounded at the same time. Someone who takes their turn wearing the pants in the relationship, and lets you know when you’ve crossed the line. Someone who is 100% sure of who they are, so they won’t get lost while loving you.
ESTP
Who you usually go for: The naive one. Or anyone that gives you the pleasure of responding to your impulsive cries for attention. Typically, you go for the one who looks at you like you’re a superstar. Because they fall for all your attempts at showing off, and that makes you feel good for about five seconds.
Who you should go for: The smart one who calls you out on all your bullshit. Someone who bothers to ask why you do the things you do and encourages you to think before you act. Someone who digs deeper, until they reach the ugly stuff that you hide behind all the shiny stuff. And still stays.
INFJ
Who you usually go for: No one, because everyone is going to hurt you. Even the ones you’re only mildly attached to, especially the ones you really really like. Once in a blue moon, you’ll meet someone who seems to have the potential to never screw you over. And you’ll put them on a pedestal until, eventually, they’ll let you down too.
Who you should go for: The best friend. The one who has proven their trustworthiness by being there for you through everything. The one who will let you down unintentionally, every now and again, but stays by your side to stitch up the wounds. Someone who will finally make you believe in the whole “everyone is going to hurt you, you just have to find the ones worth suffering for” bullshit that you were struggling to accept before.
INFP
Who you usually go for: The Prince Charming/Cinderella type. The all-rounded, seemingly perfect one (that you actually barely know). But the minute details that you do know about them, you’ve managed to spin into an entire fairytale in your mind. This fairytale typically lives as long as you don’t try to actually pursue them.
Who you should go for: The one that challenges you and/or your views on the world. The one that will meet you halfway, bettering themselves for you if you will learn to be more accepting of their flaws. Someone that will show you that real life is never ever like a fairytale, BUT it can still be amazing.
INTJ
Who you usually go for: The one who argues with you. Or does anything else that engages both your intellect and emotion at the same time. You enjoy analysing every tiny detail about people’s behaviour and what makes them tick. So surprise, surprise, you’re attracted to the one that you can’t figure out. The one whose behaviour you can’t quite analyse.
Who you should go for: The one who seduces you. The one who is able to make you throw logic out the window, and just go with what you’re feeling. Someone who shows you that things don’t always have to “make sense” for them to make you happy.
INTP
Who you usually go for: You don’t. They go for you. The persistent one who will follow you around until you finally give in. And if you’re being honest, your relationship is almost 100% them.
Who you should go for: The one that actually makes you want to do something. The one that makes you decide that they are worth the effort and time and money. Someone that makes you get off your couch, or walk across the room to check your phone. Someone that makes you feel something substantial.
ISFJ
Who you usually go for: The non-committer. You go for the one who is just wrapping their head around the idea of bringing you over for Christmas dinner when you’re already thinking of baby names. Why? I don’t know. Maybe you just like feeling ten steps ahead emotionally in every relationship. Or maybe you care so much that it makes up for how little they care in return.
Who you should go for: The one who balances you out. The one who doesn't make you feel like they need to catch up, but rather, that you should slow down. Someone who is not in a rush to fall in love, but will be beside you – not behind you – every step of the way.
ISFP
Who you usually go for: No one. You don’t go for anyone. Not because you’re extremely lazy and laid-back (which you are), but because you genuinely aren’t interested. And even if you are, you’ll let these alien feelings simmer down until they eventually go away, so you can revert to your care-free self.
Who you should go for: The one who penetrates your little bubble. Someone who understands where your mind is at when it’s not with them, and won’t get mad at you for being “uninvolved” or “passive”.
ISTJ
Who you usually go for: The ‘It’ Girl/Guy type. Usually within your circle of friends, because you’re afraid to be seen with anyone else that isn't considered socially acceptable. The one that majority of your peers agree is smoking hot, and their jealous approval makes you feel like you’ve achieved something.
Who you should go for: The one who sees past your reputation. The one who, by some miracle or moment off-guard, you’ve revealed yourself to. Someone who knows you’re actually a real softie, and are a lot more clueless than you’re leading on. Someone who doesn’t believe in the status quo and in turn, liberates you from it too.
ISTP
Who you usually go for: The one that looks just as nonchalant as you are. You’ll establish from the start that you don’t want anything serious, or heavy. So someone that has the same intentions is ideal. Until they get too clingy and start demanding more of you, at which point, you will make a run for it. Because unlike them, you actually mean it when you say “no strings attached”.
Who you should go for: The honest one. The one who is upfront at every point about their intentions and feelings for you, regardless of whether they will scare you away. Someone who gives you equal amounts of affection and personal space, and knows you well enough to know exactly when you need which.
Published adaptations: Thought Catalog
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